'where is the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago' an autobiography i'll never write because i keep losing the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago.
do you sometimes just stretch your body and it feels better than an orgasm
True happiness exists and it is a piglet eating ice cream at a mini picnic table under a mini umbrella.
did you know when you suddenly jerk awake while falling asleep, another version of you from a different timeline just died
This post fucked me up.
It’s actually because you’re heart rate decreased so quickly that you’re brain jerks you awake to make sure you’re still alive.
i dont know wHICH ONE IS WORSE
If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.
Why the fuck would I do that
do you ever look at your eyes in the mirror and be like “im looking at my eyes with my eyes”
I DONT NEED THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW.